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At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve conflict in a positive learning environment.

Divorce Mediation

The WHYmediate? process helps people resolve conflicts and re-create relationships. Mediation is a conflict resolution process – a smart alternative to going to court, saving time, money, energy, stress and paperwork. You will walk away with an in-depth understanding of how to best address communication with the other party. Better mutual understanding can lead to current and future resolution!

Your guided mediation process to resolve your conflict and move you from WHY? to YES!

Stay out of court; avoid the legal fees associated with high court costs and still resolve your conflict!

Did you know that your conflict can result in a lasting growth experience instead of the usual permanent destruction of relationships after the court battle is over? Get on with life, sooner!

In the WHYmediate? process, we will move you from conflict to mutually agreeable terms and mutual understanding – sometimes with grace, sometimes with technical brilliance and sometimes with shear gut intuition and will.


    We bring vast experience in areas of the law, mediation, coaching and healing to the table and empower you to do your own research and find the values of your assets and extent of your liability.


    We believe in open communication – full disclosure of all possible issues, obstacles and solutions, sharing information, stories, experiences that will help you.


    We believe in progress, and that means change, transition and letting go.

Frequenty Asked Questions


Control – People keep control over the resolution of their own problem.

Saves time and hassle – Disputes can be settled promptly. Mediation sessions can be scheduled as soon as everyone agrees to use mediation to resolve the dispute, and often before a lawsuit is filed.

Costs less – Mediation costs are significantly less than taking a case to trial, often from 50% to 90% savings.

Collaborative interaction – Foster better long-term relationships through cooperative problem-solving and improved communication.

Privacy and Confidentiality – The mediator and the people in the dispute must maintain the confidentiality of the information disclosed during mediation.

Flexibility – Although a judge may order a case to proceed to mediation, the mediation may be terminated at any time by the people involved or by the mediator. Settlement is also entirely voluntary. If you cannot reach an agreement, you still have the right to take the dispute before a judge or jury.


Mediation is private and usually takes place in the mediator’s conference rooms in privacy and total confidence.  Your mediator cannot be called into court as a witness, in the slim chance that your case would end up in court.  Important topics that of highest priority to you and selected first will be discussed in a relaxed mediation setting where people can use their best problem-solving skills to reach final agreements without feeling forced to do so.

When you go to court, you are subject to the rules of court, you can only speak if the court allows you to speak, and there is no brainstorming or problem solving.  You are there to have the judge decide what you have to do once you present your evidence, and then you have to follow the order the judge issues.  The court has very little time to hear the problems you bring to them, and often the truth does not have sufficient time to be revealed in documents or your own testimony which can lead to very dissatisfying results.

At WHYmediate Mediation Services, we never give up on our commitment to help you reach agreements on all of your terms.  Our WHYmediate? clients really love the fact that they do not have to take off so much time for court hearings. Our clients get to do their own due diligence in between mediation sessions scheduled at time that is convenient for our clients.  We even hold your mediation sessions on weekends.


Mediation will save you money, time, aggravation, and stress plus give you more control over your case..  You will also have the liberty of talking about things that a judge may not even have the authority to discuss!  The private mediation process is so much more flexible and informal that folks can communicate better. When you add our WHY discovery process to the mediations steps, you get to have all the learning, coaching and growth that accompanies our cutting edge process, along with your mediated settlement – AND, all keeping you out of court and saving you money and time!


The cost of mediation is often shared equally by the persons involved unless they agree otherwise. Sometime you can take the retainer or mediation fees from a joint account. Or you can determine a pro rata share of these fees based upon the difference in your earnings.

At WHYmediate Mediation Services, we are very clear about hourly rates, who pays the filing fees, the cost of various and miscellaneous charges on various services, and we especially attempt to keep your fees reasonable by allowing paralegals to draft your initial filing documents required to open your case and the final documents that are filed that are to become binding orders authorized by the judge assigned to your particular case.  Remember that the WHY Discovery Process at the beginning of the case is complementary and folks in the country are paying from $200 to $1000 for the same service.


The mediator has a duty to be constantly neutral and unbiased with both parties and to keep unfairness from happening between them.  “Balancing the power” is done by bringing the attention to a person who is not speaking up, or recommend obtaining some separate additional knowledge or research from a family law attorney or divorce lawyer who can render separate legal advice for the benefit of just that one person.  That person may need their own outside attorney counsel for “advice and counsel” and then they can return to mediation ready to discuss their own position.  Mediation provides a setting where family law attorneys and divorce attorneys can work hand in hand with the mediators.

At WHYmediate we want to encourage an environment where attorneys and mediators work together on behalf of people to reach their best solutions to their legal matters and obtain fair divorce decrees.   The mediator always has a duty to keep both parties from being taken advantage of.  We are trained to keep a close watch on this potential problem and the best mediators can maintain control of that during the different sessions throughout your divorce.


At the mediation session each person involved in the dispute presents a summary of his or her point of view. If you have an attorney, they are often allowed to attend, but you then have to pay for three professionals in the same room at the same time, and most parties do not want to spend that much money these days in these challenging financial times. The mediator will meet with everyone together and may also meet individually with each side. This offers participants the opportunity to communicate to the mediator their real interests in the dispute as well as to vent anger or frustrations outside the presence of the opposing side. The mediator will work with each person until an agreement is reached that is acceptable to everyone. Once they do reach agreement, the mediator or the attorneys will put the agreement or the final consent decree or stipulated agreement in writing and signed by the people involved, with the advice of their attorneys which can then be filed as an order to be approved by the judge assigned to your case.


The time required for mediation varies on what you want to accomplish during the process of your dispute or divorce.  Sometimes people need to get appraisals and that takes time.  Sometimes they need to sell the house in order really know what equity they will realize from the sale and know exactly how much they have left over for other debts allocation or the purchase of new places to live.

The beauty of mediation at WHYmediate, is that we handle the court for your so that you can take the time you need to accomplish what you want to accomplish to get the best mediated settlement results and help all parties re-start their new lives in as optimally as possible.  If your issues are more complex in nature, then it might take more time to work through them.  It may be necessary to meet with other professionals, real estate agents, appraisers, counselors and financial planners in order to glean the information you need to come back to the mediation table fully informed and ready to discuss your position from a place of knowledge.  This knowledge is essential to establish the certainty required to reach good and binding agreements.


What is fair to one couple or family may not be fair to another. Like the definition of “beauty  – it’s in the eye of the beholder.”  Only the parties involved truly know inside what they have each done to invest family relationships, marital estates, and their children’s’ lives.  No judge, no attorney, no mediator will ever know what you have truly invested and what you have contributed to each and to your families.  Mediators, more than any other breed of legal professional, truly understand that “we do not walk in your shoes” and the final decision and final agreements are yours to make.   As long as the terms of agreement are substantially fair and equitable, you will reach your goal of getting your mediated divorce and final decree of judgment of divorce while staying out of court.


Absolutely. Your case can proceed to mediation at any stage of the process as long as both parties agree to do it.  The court is always willing to allow you to settle your own case which saves them trial time for other cases.  The court also looks favorably on individuals who try to resolve their conflicts themselves.    Family law and divorce attorneys are encouraged to move their client’s case toward settlement yet all too often they remain unable to persuade their clients to consider mediation.  The discovery process can be beneficial to understanding the value of your assets and debts but then shifting over to to private mediation can make for a more optimal path to settlement


The mediator is not a judge and does not make a decision or impose a solution on the dispute. That is what a judge is supposed to do.  The judge, in doing their assigned duty, will have to take away the freedom and authority from the parties to arrive at their own decision or agreement, once that judge has been given the duty to make the decision for you by “going to court” or engaging in litigation.  The judge is just doing their job, and many judges are very good at doing their job.

At WHYmediate?, we have a special interest in helping you to keep control of your own decision by reaching agreements, even if it is hard to do, on your own, without turning it over to someone who is not even related to you and has at least 9000 other active cases on their court calendar to deal with. Rather, the mediator helps those involved in the dispute talk to each other, thereby allowing them to resolve the dispute themselves. The mediator manages the mediation session and remains impartial.


Our process starts at a fundamentally different place which is with helping you understand your personal motivation.  Knowing your WHY will ease the process of mediationbecause once you know your WHY, you will have a deeper understanding of your own value system which signficantly impacts the decisions you will make in the mediation process.  The valuable understanding and compassion that was once unavailable is suddenly now accessible because you now KNOW YOUR WHY!


Schedule an appointment at WHYmediate Mediation Services for an hour of education and to see if this cutting edge process is right for your divorce..   WHYmediate charges for the consultation but it is less than half the rate for one hour of regular billable time.  The mediator will give you a phone consultation at NO CHARGE, that is complimentary, that is long enough to answer your initial process questions and to see if your case is right for WHYmediate.   Our aim at WHYmediate Mediation Services, is to serve as many folks who are willing to try this cutting edge process as possible.  There needs to be a good fit between you, the other party, and of course WHYmediate and our mediators.


The basic role and responsibility of a mediator is different than the role of an attorney.  When you hire a mediator their role is to help you understand the options for solving your conflict and use many learned skills to help both parties reach agreement to conclude their case.  The role of an attorney is to represent you and your side and to speak for you to the other party, their attorney and to the judge for you.  You can have both an attorney and a mediator because the roles are different. Many family law conflicts can be resolved with a mediator before bringing in an outside attorney to review the final agreements.

There are different kinds of lawyers and different kinds of mediators.  Many divorce lawyers are trained in building evidence and arguing one position persuasively with evidence to the judge. They may not possess mediation skills designed to help people settle their case before going to court.  Conversely, many divorce mediators do not possess the skills necessary to go to court and are unfamiliar with the development of evidence and the cost of preparation that is required. The preparation for trial is far more expensive and takes far more time than the informal exchange of information that takes place during a mediation on the same issue.  

At WHYmediate? Mediation Services, our staff possess both skill sets. Our mediators are divorce attorneys who are experienced in the court room but more importantly are committed to resolving your dispute without going to court. Knowing what’s involved in the legal process and the associated costs can help you decide whether it makes more sense to conciliate and settle your case out of court.


Legal aid is a government sponsored program that serves the indigent, those people who cannot pay for their own attorneys.  They provide attorney representation at low or now cost depending upon your financial standing.   This is entirely different than private mediation.

Private mediation is a professional privately-paid service, delivered by a professional who has vast years of experience in practice areas of your conflict whether it is family law, divorce, custody, or a business, work place or landlord tenant dispute, and also years of mediation training.  In addition, our trained mediators also possess coaching certification and experience that also helps the process of mediation at many stages of your given legal conflict or case, especially once our parties KNOW THEIR WHY.

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